#me at 3am: uhhhh what was the question again

[mercuryislove]

Which of your characters did you create first? Is that character significantly different now compared to when you first created them?

okay i wrote this at like 3am last night when i couldn't sleep and it makes absolutely no sense but i figured if there was anyone on this earth that would appreciate it, it might be you lol

It's kind of funny you should ask this because the last few days I've been reading the stuff I was writing when I first picked it back up this time last year and like. shit's changed a lot lol

Of like. the stuff I'm writing now uh TECHNICALLY Yixing came first because when I was first toying with the idea of running a dnd campaign of my own, I started coming up with some npcs just to like. get some inspiration I guess? (I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before...) So I didn't really have any ideas about a setting or a plot or anything but I had two very specific characters, and one of them was like. a classic drifter/outlaw type character. And his two defining features were that he had really long black hair and was covered head to toe in tattoos. And uh. Only one of those stuck lol (though in my dnd campaign he still does have the tats! And they are plot relevant lol) OH also it stands to say that in my campaign Yixing is a MONK WITH A GUN because he was originally a gunslinger but I didn't really like any of the way the gunslinger homebrew options worked, and a lot of them were basically monk adjacent so I turned him into a monk and made his fucking monastic weapon a GUN.

Also the other npc I made was a really bonkers woman that lives in the woods and thinks the world is about to end at any moment and is extremely magically adept and eats a whole lot of shrooms lmao. idk if she'll actually show up in the campaign but she has a character sheet ready just in case

anyway. Yes Yixing is WAY different. He still has the yeehaw flair but he was originally intended to be shady and self-serving and standoffish and the kind of person who will play all sides but still find a way to come out on top. (he is still like that in my campaign..... he's like a quadruple agent lmao SPOILER for my dnd campaign that nobody cares about: he CLAIMS to be working for Anwei but he's actually working for Ciaran who knows he's also working for Anwei but he's actually double-crossing them both AND someone else that he's working for because he has his own side hustle and honestly he may or may not end up being the actual Big Bad of the campaign. I don't know yet. I hope my sister isn't reading this lol) anyway again, in the context of my novel he's now only a little bit self-serving and he will probably complain if he's super inconvenienced by helping out other people but he's still going to do it. He's a GOOD PERSON and even though I still have an extremely detailed outline of the idea I had where the plot is basically the same but he's a real shithead instead, I can't bring myself to really entertain the idea because I like him being nice. :( the whole point is that he's been through hell and back and has had a really shitty life but still finds a way to be kind and to see the good in people in spite of it all!!!! I get like. really passionate about this. Like truly agonizing about it to no one but myself. I'm the one writing the damn thing I can do whatever I want so why do I care so much about an alternate reality where Yixing is a real bastard??? I do not know.

ANYWAY AGAIN. (now here is where we really lose the thread of the original question lol) This all goes back to dnd lol because as someone that is a hard atheist, it's like. tough for me to get into the whole uhhh god thing in fantasy settings (but in this case I'm talking dnd). Like they EXIST FOR REAL in the context of the game so when your cleric or paladin prays, someone is really listening. And I was like... hm. What if I want to write a campaign where they just aren't there? (and some of my friends said I couldn't because that's breaking the rules which is stupid.. I do what I want!!!) Or that they had otherwise abandoned humanity? So then because I played final fantasy x too much in my formative years, I had the idea of “what if the gods got really fucking mad about people forsaking religion and punished them?” which turned into “what if the gods just DIED suddenly and the world fell apart in the wake?” which turned into “what if the gods realized they sucked at their jobs and that humanity was unintentionally destroying itself so they made a pact to start over but when they tried to do just that, they accidentally killed themselves?” and that is........... mostly the so-called lore now (but there is definitely more but I can't say at this time because spoilers lol) uh. I forgot where I was going with this. OH. How the characters changed. WELL. Anwei has probably changed the least lol. She is still kind of mean and weird and thinks of herself and the others like her as Far Superior to everyone else, but she's no longer downright evil. At one point she was intended to be the villain!!! but I changed my mind because I love fellow mean lesbians so much. Also it was kind of uhh. low stakes with her as a villain/antagonist. She's a little shady and definitely still very manipulative and she gets mean when jealous but not like in her first iterations.... she does still sort of try to get yixing killed though lmao

Oh also Ciaran was the last of the three that I came up with lol which is funny considering he's like. such a big deal. The only reason he exists at all is because I wanted to come up with a real Corruption Arc kind of Guy because I am a big fan of those. Also I wanted the Big Bad in my campaign to be related somehow to the Big Good. And like. what better way to do that than siblings! And then I needed a way to make my Very Cool New npc connected to both of them somehow to make the whole uhhh revolver ocelot style mind games work so I sat down and was like. well. time to tell a tragic love story lol. soooooooooo uh Thank you dnd for inspiring me to write a trilogy of novels because I wanted to do a SINGLE basic worldbuilding exercise for my dnd campaign (that even now has only had uh. four sessions ever) while I was sad and lonely last summer.

I totally went off the rails with this question and I am sorry for that :( also I could write a thousand essays about how much I love Yixing and also how many versions of him there are in my mind lol he's like that one oc that everyone has that they find a way to put in everything always. he is my alternate universe oc. very versatile

[sittin-on-the-rooftop]

Would ya look at that! Iss a captain x reader fanfic!

Pairing: Captain X Reader

Genre: Angsty Fluff (Prepare to cry in a good way)

Fandom: Tankmen AN: ignore the misspells its 2am

TW: A lot of swearing. Yea.

Why tf am I doing this

Anyway just stargazing fluff w captain. I fucking hate my life. I didn’t wanna finish the end lol so suck my cliffhanger dick.

You always had a hard time sleeping since you joined the army. You always had so much to think about. Recent encounters with the enemy, philosophical paradoxes, and… the douche that was captain. You’d go to the gym to exercise your thoughts away, but you decided, fuck it. You went up to the roof of the building, gazing up at the sky. One of the only things that stayed the same throughout the chaos that is war. A clear night sky was quite rare! You looked up at the stars, trying to distract yourself. From everything. The pain of war, the meaning of life, and your past struggles with love. You had quite a few encounters with the latter emotion, and none served you well. But here you were again. You were just another run of the mill soldier. How could you even have a chance with goddamn CAPTAIN of all people. All the thoughts were just too much. So much shit was flooding your head at once, because all the thoughts you suppressed just came flooding back to you all at once. So like any normal person, you went as far away from the dorms as possible, and started fucking screaming. About everything. Venting to whatever god was up there, begging it to have mercy. As you took another little break to sob, you heard heavy footsteps up the metal stairs. Fuck. Who’d you piss off this time? You hid behind a duct opening and prayed to Christ that it was Steve. All the other soldiers would fuckin kill your ass, so would Ted, and well, the worst case scenario- you couldn’t even complete the thought as the aforementioned worst case scenario started talking. Whelp, I guess the duct wasn’t the best place to hide. There you were curled up in a ball, ready to get a right scolding for waking up captain himself. But what he said next was enough to reinduce the sorry state you were in before having to hide with bated breath. “Are you ok, kiddo?” Two years ago. The last time you were asked that question, just before you joined this fucking shithole of an army. And here you were. Crying like a baby, as captain tried desperately to check you for injuries. “I heard you screaming like a fucking sissy, you good man?” In a desperate attempt to get you to cheer up, he was just throwing insults in a panic. Steve once told him that ya probably shouldn’t insult an injured person, and told him to first ask this, if there was any distress. “Mental, or physical pain? Do I need to take you to the infirmary? Should I carry you?” Panic is an understatement. You were ofc having a mental breakdown on the floor screaming “I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE!” He didn’t know what to do, so, he asked a simple question. One his mom asked him whenever he cried. “Do you want a hug?” As those words came out of his mouth, you tackled him in a hug, pushing both of you onto the ground. Still trying his best not to upset you more, he started to pat you on the head, trying to calm you down. Feeling completely and utterly useless and weak. Infront of your crush? What luck. You felt utter despair. He’d never like you in this state. At that moment you realized just how sus this was. Yikes. You. Were. Cuddling. With. CAPTAIN! As you continued to drift into despair, Captain, in the most awkward tone you have ever heard, said “uhhhh, y-ya like stargazin?” “Kinda, yea…” You try to look up at the stars, trying to gain control over all your thoughts. The moon. The stars. The Big Dipper. Orion’s Belt. Andromeda. You felt an invisible weight on your back lift gradually, as you mumble out a tired “Thank you so much, sir. For calming my stupid ass down.”

“Well, ya damn near woke everyone up so it was probably best that I calm you down.” “Yea. Sorry for the trouble sir.”

“Wanna talk about it? Or would you like to simply sit in silence.” He took your silence as an affirmation for the latter. Minutes later, you asked John, “how about you, ya like stargazing?-Ah shit crap sorry, shouldn’t be that informal, sir“ “You using me as a pillow is informal enough, but I guess I’ll let it slide since you literally just had a mental breakdown right infront of me. … about stargazing, I never really had time for it. Ya know, army business.” “Want me to show you some constellations?” As you pointed out the stars, all your worries melted away. Having laughs about the constellations he guessed wrong. Time passes fast when you have fun. You checked your watch. 3am. As you laid on his chest, you started feeling quite sleepy. As you fell asleep, you mumbled a near inaudible “I kinda… like you…” Little did you know, Captain was wide awake.

———————————————————

You woke up to someone shaking you violently. Gunshots can be heard in the distance. “HEY MAN, WAKE UP, WE’RE AT FUCKING WAR. FUCKING SURPRISE ATTACKS! THEY'VE SEIGED THE BASE, SOME GOT IN. HEY YOU WITH ME, KIDDO?” You vision starts blurring. You can feel Captain hoist you up onto his shoulder.

“INCASE I DIE, JUST KNOW THAT I FEEL THE SAME WAY. YOUR COURAGE AS A SOLDIER IS NEAR THE SAME SIZE AS MY MAGNUM DONG. IVE SEEN YOU OUT THERE, YA FEARLESS FUCKO! RUN OF THE MILL SOLDIER MY ASS. NOW LETS GO BEFORE WE GET FUCKING BLASTED!”

With each step he took the black spots in your vision spread, until…

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

[tepre]

Hello! Would you mind if I ask you how you outline your fics? I’ve been trying to but I don’t know how to start

YEsSSSs OUTLININGGGGGG my favourite thing 

ok this SO depends on the kind of fic/story you’re writing. For ‘Us, in Lieu’ for example I did no outlining because I wasn’t planning on….HAHA ANYTHING REALLY. But it was mostly because the progression of the story hinged on emotional/character development, and the plot/flashbacks were peppered in as supporting characters where necessary, for context etc, but that wasn’t what propelled the story. 

I guess that’s the main question you start with: what propels the story? With GFD, it was this idea that they both had to go through various phases of NOT wanting and DESPERATELY wanting each other, and that it would take years for those to align. So the first barebones outline looked something like, 

Harry –> hates D, is forced to be w him 

Draco –> likes H, but H won’t give him a chance 

Harry & Draco –> take distance 

Draco –> is lovely and caring and H gets to see it from a distance

Harry –> OH NO now likes D

Draco –> has moved on, has someone else now

Harry –> pines for D/would do anything

Draco –> helpless for that vibe 

Harry & Draco –> drawn back into each other’s orbit –> FINALLY COLLIDE 

And over the course of a few days I filled in each bullet point with minor outlines for scenes, snippets of conversations I wanted them to have, etc. So if I’d have to write a fic where the PROPELLING ENGINE was, uhhhh, idk, they both want the DADA teacher position, and McG says OK you each a month-long trial to prove yourself, & you have to take turns teaching classes, my first question would be: why would either of them want to be a DADA teacher? 

Answer: 

Harry - has had a realisation that teaching is the only thing that makes him happy.

Draco - cares 0 about teaching, is bored in his life and with everyone and has had his OWN realisation that the only thing that has ever entertained him EVER was arguing with Harry Fucking Potter. 

Conclusion: 

Draco only tries for the job to be around/fight with Harry. We now have a dynamics where Harry cares A Lot about getting a thing, and Draco cares A Lot about annoying Harry. Ergo, Draco has a Secret Motivation. Ergo, the POV narration that would best suit this story is a Harry POV, where toward the end we get a frazzled confession from Draco that he just wanted to be close to Harry. 

My second question would be, what narrative timeframe would best showcase these dynamics? Because we’re dealing with a story that comes pre-packaged in a time frame (”YOU HAVE 1 MONTH TO PROVE YOURSELF!!”), that answer is a given: 

They arrive at Hogwarts. 

A month at Hogwarts where they both try to out-teach the other 

Something bigger than The Rivalry happens that forces Confession out of Draco

Resolution

This is the bare-bones of your outline. Now you can start asking questions that’ll fill in the fleshy parts. Like: what’s Draco’s teaching style vs Harry? Is Draco surprisingly good at teaching or not at all? How do we ramp up the tension so that it leads to an eventual conflict? Or even fun smaller details like: where do teachers sleep/what’s the accommodation like? Do they have to sit in on each other’s classes? Do we get to know the students well?? Will they root for either one of the teachers, will the students’ opinions be the ones that decide, in the end? And then you start getting an outline that looks more like this: 

They arrive at Hogwarts [find out Harry’s motivation via flashbacks –> had a revelation last month, quit job as Auror, this is all he wants]. –> TURNS OUT –> SHARE GUEST QUARTERS?? Separate bedrooms but shared lounge space/showers. [D: “Oh a common room! Oh how nostalgic. Potter, quick, call me a brat and I’ll wrestle you to the ground, it’ll be grand, come on, I’m ready, do it.”] 

Take turns teaching classes? Harry the Tues and Thurs classes, Draco the Weds & Friday classes. No DADA on Mondays. Harry –> thinks it’s a homerun. Turns out?? Kids are super INTO Draco’s DANGEROUS AS FUCK laissez faire approach [0 lesson plans, takes them out onto the fields and lets them blast clay pigeons in air wHILE EATING Bertie Botts in the stands and laughing & clapping whenever something goes wrong], whereas Harry is seen as the ‘safe by the books teacher’ [hermione’s helped him prep.] 

TURNING POINT FOR HARRY –> needs to step it up!! –> STEPS IT UP (Bogart?? Brings in an animagus?? shows wandless magic?) 

TENSION IN THE SHARED QUARTERS. Draco walking around in bathrobe?? Showers w door open?? Tries to get Harry to go to Hogsmead w him?? Harry is PISSED. 

During one of Harry’s classes, Draco has a SNARKY COMMENT and Harry is like well if you’re so SMART come up here and demonstrate and idk stuff happens and it ends up being a DUEL full of SEXUAL TENSION and the students are all like :O :O :O 

Back at quarters –> Harry is FURIOUS at how things got out of hand and he picks a fight and then it’s like they’re ABOUT TO DUEL AGAIN but instead of duelling it’s sort of a fight but instead of a fight Harry ends up pinning Draco to the door and then SUDDENLY TOTALLY UNEXPECTED they’re hardcore making out –> ILL ADVISED ROUGH SEX ON COMMON ROOM FLOOR. 

Classes continue. Rivalry ramps up. They continue to have ill-advised sex in their shared lil space and then retreating to their private rooms & totally not talking about it. 

They have ONE CLASS LEFT. DRACO DECIDES TO OUTDO HARRY ONCE AND FOR ALL. Takes his students too…?? Lake? Forest??? Favourite student gets accidentally HURT or in TROUBLE and Draco has to run to Harry for help and they RESCUE STUDENT, but after the whole adventure –> HARRY = SUPER PISSED W DRACO FOR PUTTING KIDS IN DANGER and if he REALLY wanted the job he’d never– Draco –> frazzled and FRUSTRATED and confession: “I didn’t even! I never wanted! I don’t care about the job! Who–why would I, god, I don’t–! I just–I just wanted to–!” / “What? You just wanted to what?” / “Be with you! I–I wanted–” [grimace like he’s angry, with himself or Harry or the mossy forest floor at large] “You. I was bored without you. God, life is boring. So boring! And I thought … I just thought …”

HARRY IS EVEN MORE FURIOUS OVER THIS CONFESSION. Avoids Draco for rest of day?? or two?? OR IT’s WEEKEND and that night Harry doesn’t hear Draco return –> 3am still awake, can’t sleep not knowing where Draco is?? –> GOES TO LOOK FOR HIM, STILL FURIOUS. 

Finds him @ hospital wing, asleep by Favourite Student Who’s Now Recovering From Injury’s bedside (HARRY CANNOT BUT GO WEAK AT THIS). Wakes him up gently. INTENSE EYE CONTACT MOMENT. –> silent walk back to quarters. Then –> Harry kisses him and it’s gentle and sweeter than before –> takes him to bed in his own room and now it’s all sad and achy cuz Draco is hurty and wants him and now Harry KNOWS. 

MONDAY!! McG calls them in to tell them results!! Draco tries to disqualify himself cuz he signed up under False Pretences. McG is like ABSOLUTELY NOT cuz guess what you’re actually a good teacher. Like your ass is CRAZY AF but the students love ya and they learn a lot. DADA is too wild for you but what’s up let’s put you on Potions, Harry congrats you’re our new DADA teacher. 

Draco gets to have emotional moment over having found something he’s passionate about and realises that–fucking Harry aside–he hasn’t been bored AT ALL this past month.

THEY GET TO BE TEACHER HUSBANDS LIVING TOGETHER AT HOGWARTS YAY 

THE END 

This was the longest answer, I apologise, BUT I HOPE IT HELPED??!?! 

❤️❤️❤️!

[avis-writeshq]

1 to 15 and 41 to 50 for the self ship asks!! :3

Avishi Self-ship Asks

Not at me forgetting to answer this ;-; okie here we go! Buckle up because this one’s pretty long hehe

1. where was your first date?

A cafe or just somewhere we can go talk 😌 I love cafe dates so we probably went to a bubble tea store or Starbucks hehe

2. who normally plans the dates?

It’s mutual haha depending on the situation, I might plan one date and Akaashi might plan the other! I try to make things as mutual as possible if I’m in a relationship (not that I’ve ever been in one LMAO)

3. what type of dates would you two mostly go on? do you guys have a “date spot”?

Not so much ‘date spot’ than ‘go-to date’. Busy people lead busy lives so any time where it’s just the two of us spending time together can be considered a date (to me, at least hehe). We typically go on small, quiet dates like cafes or picnics. There is the rare occasion when we go to loud festivals or carnivals though!

4. what kind of date do you think both of you would enjoy together the most? why?

Honestly, I’m fine with anything as long as there isn’t any strenuous exercise LMAO >.< 

5. how do you think your friends would feel about them being your bf/gf/partner?

I asked my friends to answer this LMAO

I’m 98% sure that they’re very happy about Akaashi being my boyfie bahaha

6. how do you think their friends would feel about you?

UHHHH I think they like me??? I sure hope Bokuto-san likes me at least just a little bit hehe

7. who would most likely help the other study when they’re struggling in a class?

KEIJI WOULD HELP ME 100%. Mathematics isn’t my strong point and Akaashi is a good student so I don’t doubt for a second that he would be above average at maths \(￣︶￣*\))

8. how would you know them? ( ex: same homeroom, same route to school, etc.)

Oh! I answered this question here but I basically said:

“Hehe, I’m feeling same homeroom vibes? Either that or Shirofuku asked for me to become a manager bahaha >.< I also like the idea of taking the same train or going to the same cafe after school! So basically, anything to do with school XD”

9. what do you think your first impression of them would be?

UHM: Mah boy who gave you the right to be this perfect ASJKDJA *insert me fangirling to my friends*

10. what do you think their first impression of you would be?

“What a dumbass lmao.” NO IF IT WAS I’D CRY T^T it would probably be: “ah, she’s quite active in class.”

11. who’s more awkward in the relationship?

OKAY THIS- OKAY LISTEN. I’m awkward because I’m shy and I’ve never been in a relationship before and I think Keiji might be awkward because he’s new to relationships. BUT Keiji anon has been smooth af so I think I’m the more awkward one BAHAHA ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

12. who initiates verbal affection more?

Probably Keiji. He’s very good with speaking and his words, so he’d be great at showering me with kind words. Of course, I love to express my care to others with words as well, but probably not as much as him hehe

13. who initiates physical affection more?

ME. I’m not even afraid to say it BAHAHA I love cuddles and I love to be held. Honestly, I’m pretty touch starved so-

14. who gets more embarrassed by verbal affection?

Me haha self explanatory >///<

15. who gets more embarrassed by physical affection?

Probably Keiji because self explanatory 🤪

41. what are traits they have that would annoy/upset you?

UHHHHHHHHHHH maybe working for a long period of time and not taking breaks? Schoolwork is hard to get through, not to mention that he does volleyball as well. Both being extrememly strenuous and tiring, I’d worry for his health and well being :’)

Post timeskip, being an editor is a pretty demanding job and again, pulling all nighters isn’t healthy so maybe just not paying attention to their own health is something that I’d be upset about.

42. how often would you guys probably fight? what would they normally be about? would they be big or small?

I’m a mediator, so I try to find a compromise in situations and Keiji’s pretty logical in his thinking! I don’t think we’d have huge shouting matches, but more like discussions about how to move forward. Big arguments would probably just be us snapping or losing our temper because we held all our emotions in for too long

43. who would probably get sick more often? who would baby the other when sick? who acts like they’re dying when they get a stuffy nose?

OoFt I think we get sick the same amount? Honestly, I don’t get sick that often, but when I do it’s REALLY BAD. Like... really concerning XD Eh, we’d take care of each other I think lmao

44. who has the worst patience? does the other balance this out?

I have... okay patience and Keiji has the patience of a SAINT. LIKE HE’S SO PATIENT??? WHAT??? I have average patience I think

45. which one suggests trips to stores at 3am?

............................................... probably me. no comment.

46. who is a morning person? who is a night person?

We’re both night owls >:) 

47. out of the two of you, who would be the one to kill / get rid of the spider?

I have arachniphobia i didn’t come here to get attacked ;-;

48. who reminds the other of things? ( ex: appointments, tests, etc.)

I’m forgetful AF thanks Keiji for taking care of me :’) 

49. what is the pace of the relationship? ( ex: started dating after a few weeks, takes months/years, act couple like right off the bat, need time, etc?)

I feel like we both took the time to get to know each other and then we started dating hehe. I like getting to know people first before jumping into anything, and I think Akaashi would agree! Not gonna lie, we’d probably only tie the knot like... 3-5 years into dating sooooooooooooooooooooo (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

50. who said the first “ i love you”? was it immediately reciprocated, or did the other person wait?

I’m chicken, but I feel like it would have slipped out by accident 😳😳 i feel like he would have been like “😀 what” before processing and then saying it back haha

I hope I didn’t bore any of you guys! Thank you Rina for the ask!

send in a selfship ask? ✉

@gwiy-omi bc i was talking to you about this bahaha

[theycallmemoosey]

Would You Be So Kind

Dan x Reader 

A/N: Another request from @wolfgirl-1981 , based on the song Would You Be So Kind by Dodie. I have decided I am absolutely rubbish at song requests, and this is yet again another song I hadn’t heard of before so this is my own take on the lyrics. I hope this is ok! Moose :)

-----------------------

I have a question

It might seem strange

How are your lungs?

Are they in pain?

You knew you were staring, but you couldn’t help it. He was honestly the most gorgeous man you had ever laid your eyes upon. He was perfect. No, of course he wasn’t perfect, who is? But he was everything you could have ever dreamed of having in your life. Except, he wasn’t yours.

'Cause mine are aching

Think I know why

I kinda like it though

You wanna try?

“You alright there, kiddo?” Dan pulled you out of your trance, “You’re staring into the abyss over there” 

“Sorry, just deep in thought” you mumbled, your eyes flickering back to the TV screen as you took another bite out of your pizza. 

“What were you thinking about?” 

“Not a lot really” you shrugged. 

“So you were deep in thought about…nothing?” 

“Don’t question me, Howell or I WILL kill your ass” 

“Don’t threaten me, Y/N or I WILL steal the rest of your pizza” he warned teasingly, stealing your pizza box and holding it out of your reach as you lunged towards him. 

“DAN!” You whined, “Give it back!!” 

“Ok, ok” Dan laughed to himself, “Calm your short ass down” 

“I’m not that short” you whispered, “You’re just a giant” 

“Ouch” Dan clutched his chest, “Hit me where it hurts why don’t you” 

“Shut up and finish your pizza, I’m trying to watch!” 

“Alright, alright” Dan continued to chuckle lightly to himself, turning his attention back to the TV as he munched away on what was left of his pizza. 

Aaaand you were staring again.

Oh would you be

So kind

As to fall in love with me, you see

I’m trying

The way his lips twitched into a subtle smile, the way his dimples showed when he laughed at whatever stupid joke was just played on the TV, the way his curls would bounce every time he moved even the slightest. You felt yourself falling in love with him more and more each second. 

I know you know that I like you

But that’s not enough

So if you will

Please fall in love

“So…you’re staring at me?” Dan questioned, his eyes on you as you continued to stare at each of his beautiful features. 

“Wh-what? No” you stuttered, your head snapping towards the TV when you realised you had been caught. 

“You totally were” he snickered. 

“No” you stated plainly, “You just have a little bit of pizza…right there” 

“Oh” Dan hurriedly wiped his mouth, a pink blush creeping onto his cheeks. 

It was that little blush that made your stomach flip and turn into knots. If only you had the courage to tell him. 

I think it’s only fair

There’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere

Wanna share?

'Cause I like you

But that’s not enough

So if you will

Please fall in love with me

———————

Let's write a story

Be in my book

You’ve got to join me on my page

At least take a look

Shit. He was blushing. You had totally called his bluff. He could have sworn that you were staring at him. Or at least he hoped you were. 

He had fallen head over heels for you the moment he first met you. The way your hair always sat perfectly, the way your eyes shone in the sunlight, the way they crinkled when you laughed that perfect laugh. YOU were perfect. No, of course you weren’t perfect, who is? But you were everything he could have ever dreamed of having in his life. Except, he wasn’t yours.

Oh, where are your manners?

You need some time?

Let’s swap chests today

That might help you decide

“Ah shit, look at the time!” You yawned, “I better head home” 

“Aw,” he groaned, “Do you have to? My life is boring without you!” 

“Woah, I’m hurt on behalf of Phil!” 

“You know what I meant” Dan smiled, “You didn’t finish your pizza” 

“You eat it. I’m stuffed” you stretched, leaping off the sofa and heading towards the door.

“Come on, Dan” he whispered to himself, catching up to you, “Now or never” 

Oh would you be

So kind

As to fall in love with me, you see

I’m trying

“What was that?” You asked, having heard a mumble behind you. 

“Do you want to stay here? Phil wouldn’t mind you using his bed” Dan said quickly, cursing himself in his head. 

“Uhhhh…” 

“Do you have work tomorrow?” 

“Well, no but-“ 

“Great. I’ll grab the freezer out of the ice cream and we can play kart Mario” Dan jumbled his words.

“Ice cream out the freezer and play Mario Kart?” You chuckled, seeing his blush reappear. 

“Yeah…yeah that’s the one” 

“Sure. Sure, I can stay up until 3am” you shrugged your coat back off and rushed back into the living room. 

Dan just stood speechless, watching as you gleefully ran back into his home. 

I know you know that I like you

But that’s not enough

So if you will

Please fall in love

Dan walked back into the living room and had noticed that you had made yourself comfortable around a variety of pillows and blankets. He smiled lovingly, not noticing you were staring. 

“Dan?” You giggled, “Stop gawking at me and sit the hell down so I can whoop your ass” 

“I wasn’t staring at you…you still have one shoe on” he pointed, making you blush. 

“Oh,” you noticed, blushing at your mistake. 

The butterflies in his stomach flipped and fluttered as he watched you chuck your shoe across the room and shuffled further into the sofa, staring up the switch with the biggest smile on your face.

I think it’s only fair

There’s gotta be some butterflies somewhere

Wanna share?

'Cause I like you

But that’s not enough

So if you will

Please fall in love with me

------------------ 

The competition got fierce between the two of you, food fights had erupted and there were sweets everywhere. There were celebration dances when either of you would win, there was swearing when the sore loser would be teased by the other. Dan watched you dance around the front room when you had won the final race of all the courses, skipping gleefully and sticking your middle finger up, right in Dan’s face. 

Oh, do me a favour

Can your heart rate rise a little?

Do me a favour

Can your heart rate rise a little?

He was going to do it, he was going to ask you. He wanted to be yours. 

————————

You had won. You had won the game and truly whooped Dan’s ass. You giggled when Dan had tackled you onto the sofa, tickling your sides as you continued to be an incredibly sore winner. 

Oh do me a favour

Can your heart rate rise a little?

Do me a favour

The two of you landed on the sofa and you found yourself pinned down, still wheezing from your laughing fit as Dan giggled on top of you. The laughing soon came to a halt when both of you realised how close you were to each other. Somewhere you had both wanted to be for so long.

“Oh, would you be

So kind

As to fall in love with me, you see-“ Dan whispered.

“I’m trying” you whispered back, inching your lips closer to his.

“I know you know that I like you” He chuckled, stroking your hair between his fingers.

“But that’s not enough”

Dan’s eyes locked with yours, filled with love, “So if you will, please”

“Fall in love with me”

[in-a-cave-with]

50 questions you’ve never been asked before

tagged by @stardustony​

tagging: again, whoever wants to do this, go ahead!

What is the color of your hairbrush? i don’t have a hairbrush lmao. i do have a comb which is black

Are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold, i wear a jacket All the Got Damn Time

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? watching some 14 year old minecraft youtuber torture the users in his server for the shits and giggles

What is your favorite candy bar? hmmmmmm probably either twix or reese’s

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? no

What is the last thing you said out loud? "uhhhhh”

What is your favorite ice cream? vanilla ice cream :)

What was the last thing you had to drink? water

Do you like your wallet? i mean........it’s normal??

What was the last thing you ate? peanuts

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? no

The last sporting event you watched? UHHH i cant remember which one but it was a volleyball championship

What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? uhhhh caramel? 

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? one of my friends, we were talking about his cat (muffin)

Ever go camping? no

Do you take vitamins? nope

Do you go to church every Sunday? i’m not religious

Do you have a tan? .....no? i never go outside lmao

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese food??? wtf kind of question is this lmao 

Do you drink your soda with a straw? no

What color socks do you usually wear? white

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? i dont think theres ever been a time i drove below a speed limit actually

What terrifies you? oh the fact i have so many questions to go scares me

Look to your left, what do you see? a wall.

What chore do you hate? washing dishes

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? thor odinson played by chris hemsworth

What’s your favorite soda? coca cola? ik its a basic answer but it’s the only thing i have in my house

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus? drive thrus

Who’s the last person you talked to? my brother

Favorite cut of beef? i dont understand what this question means so im just going to say that in-n-out burgers are heaven and the only thing good about california

Last song you listened to? *sigh*.  ancapistan by jreg

Last book you read? reread a study in scarlet by arthur conan doyle recently. but if comics count as books, iron man v1 #254

Favorite day of the week? normally wednesday for New Comic Booke Releases but now it’s saturday bc there arent any wednesday releases these days :(

Can you say the alphabet backwards? yes actually, i watched the CBA song by songdrops when i was like. 10. and i still have it memorized to this day

How do you like your coffee? with a fuckton of sugar !

Favorite pair of shoes? ............my crocs

The time you normally go to sleep? anytime from 11PM to 3AM

The time you normally get up? anytime from 5AM to 12PM

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets

How many blankets on your bed? Three

Describe your kitchen plates uhhhhh its a white plate. with like this purple reed flower on it (idk what it’s called)

Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? i am Not of age to be drinking alcohol lmao

Do you play cards? no and i hate it lmao

What color is your car? don’t have a car but my dad’s car is white

Can you change a tire? yes, actually. i’ve done it before

Favorite job you’ve ever had? no.

How did you get your biggest scar? i had this huge spot on my head that probably would’ve lead to me getting cancer or something (idk this was when i was like 6 so my memory is very spotty) so i got surgery to remove it. now i have a scar on my forehead a la harry potter

What did you do today that made someone else happy? uhhhh i drew flowers for mom day. i think

[kinsbin]

3AM Confession

Title: 3AM Confession Word Count:  2073 Ship: Lance/Alexys [Canon/Self Insert]

Summary: Lance wakes up from a terrifying nightmare that has haunted his mind ever since he escaped the mental institution on his last episode of Grave Encounters. Alexys is by his side, though, and always ready to help distract him no matter the time of night. It helps him to realize, even in his exhausted state, just how much he loves her. 

Author’s Note: A writing comm for @bad-blue-moon-rising! I went a more hurt/comfort direction with this fic because uhhhh I’m like that I guess lol. I hope you like it either way darl!

The air was thick.

Not thick in the dense sense, yet, exactly like that. It was as heavy and soluble as butter. Each breath Lance took in hurt, hurt hurt. Each effort to take in the oxygen around him made him wish he was dead rather than suffering like this. He reached out, blindly swiping forward in an effort to wave the density away in favor of actual, breathable air yet nothing dissipated because this density simply WAS the air. The world around him clouded with darkness, reds and blues creeping into the corner of his vision as he moved forward. He had no idea where he was going. He did not care. All his body screamed at him to do was to get out. Get out of where?

He did not know that either.

Footsteps tapped cheerfully behind him now and a chill ghosted through the air. The whistling of a man, humming and laughing, was so soft yet felt like someone was screaming each obnoxious tone in his ear. Lance inhaled again, but the dense air did not give way. Panic flooded in the precipices of his veins, each pore soaked with sweat and blood and the onset pain of getting caught. He willed his legs to run and move fast, yet, nothing seemed to get him out of the single gate he was stuck in. He pushed with all of his might and yet he could not break from it. The whistling grew louder as he moved, catching up no matter how fast he hoped that he was separate from it.

“No,” He breathed out as he felt panic overtake him, “No...No, please!”

The laughter of a man echoed again, as if he were playing a game with children. A game he knew he would win. A dread sunk deep into his stomach. He wished he could vomit up the dread and the disgusting, gut wrenching air he was being forced to inhale time and time again. There was nothing but darkness behind him, around him, and ahead of him. He had to get away as fast as he could. He would die if he didn’t. The sounds of laughter distorted between screams and the sounds of electricity vibrating through metal fences. The sound of blood bubbling its way down a drain pushed further into his frontal lobes. The pushing sound soon felt like pain, the stabbing of a needle or drill in his skull. The sound echoed and made him scream.

He tripped as he screamed, hands covering his face as he tried to shrink into a ball and ignore the pain. It only seemed to make it grow louder along with the gurgling and the laughter of the man above him. Man? Doctor. He was sick and he was supposed to be helping him get better. But now all Lance could hear was noise noise noise noise noise-

“Lance…”

The voice echoed angelically through the terror, breaking him out of his fetal position so that he could look up. A light at the end of a tunnel shone and he felt tears of pain and hope prick at his eyelids. A figure stood, silhouetted by the ethereal glow of the light itself. A stranger in its details but all too familiar in its movements. An angel.

“Lance!”

She called again, voice soft as she reached a hand out to him. Lance forced himself to stand up on his feet, the buzzing of the drill in his mind burning his tissue. He reached back to her, another ‘no’ leaving his lips as she suddenly started growing further and...further away. As if his depth perception was off. As if she was much further than he had realized. “Come back,” He whined desperately as he tried to speed up again, “Come back!”

“Lance, wake up!”

His eyes shot open, the sound of drilling dissipating into the back of his mind yet again. Lance heaved in the breaths of cool, fresh, and thin air that spread itself through the bedroom like water he hadn’t sipped in days. Sweat coated his face as he reached out blindly with one hand, trying to grab at anything in front of him. He gripped an arm and held it tight, trying to control his heaving chest. A hand reached out to touch at his forehead, pushing him down a bit and moving his hair from his face. Momentary panic bubbled up, another ‘no’ ready to shriek itself out of his lungs and into the crisp night air.

His vision formed together again in time, however, and he saw just who he was holding.

Alexys gripped his cheek firmly in one hand while her other was held in his own. Her eyes were wide with worry, the moonlight and city landscape silhouette half of her face to make it glow blue with melancholy as tears pooled at the corner of her eyes. She sat on her knees, dressed in a shirt of his and a pair of shorts. She held his gaze fiercely as he slowly began to recognize his surroundings again, settling down to earth with the reality that overcame him.

A dream, he realized with shock, it had been a dream. No...that wasn’t a dream, not by a longshot...It was…

“A nightmare?” Alexys’ voice was very soft in her questioning, as if speaking too loud might startle Lance even more. He watched as she sat up straighter, ready to move her hands in case the touching was too much for him. In case he would panic again. The thought of her releasing him scared him...It scared him.

So he held her tighter, reaching out to bring her closer as he took in a deep and shaky breath.

“Y...Yeah,” He managed out through a thick swallow and nod of his head, “A nightmare.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“...No...Not really.”

“That’s fine.” Alexys asked no more questions, instead taking a deep breath as she leaned forward to wrap her arms around him. He did the same and breathed through his nose as she kissed his forehead, cuddling into him more, “I’m just glad you woke up...You were yelling in your sleep. Must’ve been a rough one.”

“Yeah,” He tried to laugh but it came out...weak...broken, “Yeah it was...I don’t think I can get to sleep after it, really.”

“I know the feeling,” Alexys chuckled in return, patting his chest gently before sitting up on her elbows, “Do you want something to eat? We could midnight snack some mac ‘n cheese and watch the iCarly marathon going on on Nickelodeon at Night.”

“Why the fuck would I watch iCarly at-” Lance paused to turn at his alarm clock before continuing to rebuttal, “-Three in the morning?”

“Because you’ve lost control of your life?” Alexys rebuffed with a wry smile on her lips, her face burying itself in his chest. The look she gave him, so soft and warm all half lit up in the middle of the night, made his heart ache with both delight and guilt. Guilt that he had put her through any of this. That he had woken her up only to have her worry about him. The facts of the dream he had -nightmare he corrected himself- were still swimming in the corner of his eyes as he sat up with a soft sigh of resignation. Alexys joined him, a hand on his back as he moved forward and slid his legs off of the bed and onto the soft carpeted ground.

Moments later Lance found himself and Alexys out in the living room, the lights shining brightly as they were switched on and the room filled with warmth and the sound of Alexys heating up some of their leftover Mac n Cheese from a previous takeout meal in the microwave. Lance rested his back against the sofa, shutting his eyes but wincing as the shadowed flashes of the dream haunted him behind his eyelids and he was forced to keep them open again. He took a moment to lean forward, gazing towards the open kitchen door to see Alexys standing in front of the microwave, her hair falling around her face. His heart ached with love as he watched her bite her lip while counting down the seconds of the microwave quietly to herself, fingers brushing her long hair out of her face and behind her ears as the alarm to signal the food’s preparation hummed off and on and off again as she opened it.

She disappeared again to gather the food into bowls, reappearing in the doorway with two full containers and spoons to match. She stopped in the hall halfway between the kitchen and the living room, eyes wide as she tilted her head.

“Is something wrong?”

“Huh? No, why?”

“You’re-” She blushed softly-”Uh, staring at me is all...Do I have something on my face?”

“What? No,” Lance laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as an exhausted, sleepy sort of smile sprouted is way across his lips, “I guess I was just thinking…”

Alexys approached him, taking her place at his side while setting one of the steaming bowls down in front of him. “Thinking huh?” She mused back with a smirk, “That really is different from what you normally do, I’m impressed.”

“Smartass,” Lacne snarked back as he picked up the bowl of Mac n Cheese and shoved a spoonful into his mouth. Alexys laughed at his comment, chewing on her own bite just as he swallowed his and managed to continue after taking in a deep breath, “Just thinking about...How pretty you were when I woke up...and I saw you there over me, with your big eyes and hair all messy. It was…Like I saw the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”

Alexys felt a blush heat the edges of her cheeks, creeping its way forward and over her face completely as she swallowed the bite of Mac she had been working on. Looking away from Lance took effort as she curled up into a ball, a nervous laugh dying on her lips as she tried to find something...anything, really, to kind of redirect the conversation. Or at the very least to give a rebuttal to in the conversation. All she could manage out of her mouth was, incredibly softly, “Why? I woke you up and...made you Mac ‘n Cheese. That was it?”

“Yeah, but, that’s kind of WHY it was it,” Lance explained back to her with a tilt of his head, “No one’s ever done that for me and, frankly, I don’t know if anyone ever will again.”

“So you’re only keeping me around for my Mac reheating skills, I see how it is.”

“No you know what I meant!” His whining brought a new smile to her lips as she laughed, feeling him reach out to grab at her hand and hold it in his with a sudden firmness so uncharacteristic of him that it almost made her startle. Alexys looked up at Lance, feeling the gaze from his eyes as he took her in. As he watched her. As he slowly leaned forward and captured her lips in his own, melding them together for a few seconds as the television set blubbered on statically in the background.

When he pulled away, his breath ghosted across her lips. It smelt like Mac n Cheese.

“I love you, okay?” He murmured, “And there’s no one I’d rather wake up next to...not even at 3 am from a nightmare.”

Alexys reached out, a hand running through his hair as she held him close and sighed, bringing him into an intimate hug he was, perhaps, not ready for but he enjoyed nonetheless after the proper amount of care and adjustment. “I love you too, Lance,” She breathed out, “And I always will.”

The words made him hug her back, his body tensing at the realization that, yeah, they both meant these things.

He wasn’t able to tell her his dreams just yet. He wasn’t able to relive those memories out loud as they haunted his nightmares...but...with her at his side, certainly, he was able to do his best to move forward and feel deserving of the love she dared off her him.

And offer her some back in return.

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveyss 019.

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? I wish he did.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? oooo, no. that makes me uncomfortable.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? Probably saturday

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? do it all the time.

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? yeahhhhhhhh

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? yes. A sweet christmas song that talks about wanting the other person there next to them for Christmas. naturally, I think about Kile. THIS HAS TO GET EASIER.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now? a pair of black shorts. a skin tight pink vneck tshirt. 

8. How often do you listen to music? daily.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? I don’t wear either all that often. Typically shorts.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014? I mean.. its 2021. 

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? I am easily social but i prefer to be antisocial.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? Hmmm. no

13. What about ‘R’? UUUUhhh no.

14. Can you drive a stick shift? At one point I could, but I don’t think I’d remember how to after all these years. 

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? No.

16. Are you going out of town soon? Yep! traveling this week out of state.

17. When was the last time you cried? today. 

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? absolutely. life is just way too short to not say that you love someone.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you? I am fine with my eye color. Though, deep dark brown eyes are crazy beautiful.

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? yes

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. another day without my best friend. My pool has a leak. 

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? i love it.

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? No.

24. What are you sitting on right now? my bed.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? my friends and I say it.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? boy, lets rub salt in this wound!

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? I want to sayyy Charlie or Roger

28. Do you get a lot of colds? no, not usually.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? Hahahaha wow, I couldn’t tell you. I think maybe ON

30. Does anyone hate you? I don’t know. maybe? not really my concern.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? I do not. there would be no need to hide that stuff if I did.

32. Do you like watching scary movies? if I’m with the right people.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced? Not even a little.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? like 17.

35. Did you have a dream last night? yeah. Kile showed up at my house and was pleading for me to talk to him. we drove down a dirt road and parked the car and sat on the hood and stared at the stars and just talked about all the things.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? today

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? maybe so.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? feelings, sure.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? yeah, or so they said

40. Did you have a good day yesterday? yes yesterday was OK.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? no. but I was happy.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? yup

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yeppppppp. 

44. What’s the best part about school? the knowledge you gain and being able to see it all come together.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? I do but I don’t use FB

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? I passed notes to my brother, because we were homeschooled.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? oh yes.

48. Were you single over the last summer? i was.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? no, its really not.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Probably laying next to a husband or nursing a baby of mine or something.

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? no, hes a little... out there, but no i dont hate him.

52. Are you nice to everyone? pretty much

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? 1000000000%. I never planned to like Kile.

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? cheating is just so not a problem on my end. I refuse to get into a relationship with someone if I am not passionate about them. There is no need to cheat. I don’t understand it. If you’re unhappy, leave.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Yes

56. Do you think you like someone? i’m trying not to. 

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? yep. a few.

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? it doesn’t matter to me. 

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? Yes

60. Do you hate anyone? Nah.

61. How’s your heart? It's broken at the moment, but it will repair. it’ll get better. these things always do.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? my assault isn’t the most enjoyable topic. 

63. Have you ever cried over a guy? Yes.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? the other woman.

65. Are your toenails painted pink? No. orange.

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? that certainly isn’t my plan

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? Depends. Personally, I like to know there is emotion. stop the pretending to be a tough guy.

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? uhhh, not to my recollection. but they are getting so baggy lately

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? sibling probably.

70. How do you look right now? Like I'm going to bed.

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?" i did.

72. Can you commit to one person? again, not a problem I have. 

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? not anymore.

74. Have you ever felt replaced? YEP

75. Did you wake up cranky? No. I woke up heartbroken.

76. Are you a jealous person? I can be.

77. Are relationships ever worth it? Yes, definitely.

78. Anyone you’re giving up on? I’m trying to move on from Kile. It’s not going super smooth yet. But he seems to be losing interest so theres that.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone? “what if we could put our lives on hold and meet somewhere inside of the world? I would meet you. would you meet me? On a park bench, on a skyscrape, on a mountain, oh yeah whatever it takes. I would meet you, would you meet me?” those lyrics speak to me on repeat.

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? my makeup.

81. Last person you cried in front of? uhhh, i really don’t know. OH sam, for how proud I was of his therapy.

82. Is there someone you will never forget? yeah

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? I used to think so. I don’t anymore. He’s watched me be hurt by him and by people hes close to, and didn’t step in. 

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? talking

85. Are you over your past? parts 

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? when I was growing up yes

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? not anymore

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? oh boy. that is quite a question. that would make me very happy.

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? no way

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? uhhhh HAHA one of my friends yes

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? Who knows?

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? yes. hes amazing

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? No. I always thought I’d marry a matthew.

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? No.

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? I was then

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? he is unique. has attractive qualities.

97. Who do you have texts from? no one wants to know that long list.

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? i’m not surprised

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? I’ve only kissed older than me

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? only myself

101. Ever kissed under fireworks? no

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? Yes.

[suzumesoul-blog]

Can I get a fuckin' uhhhhhhh young Shimada brothers version of that relationship shenanigans meme (OBVIOUSLY PLATONIC just like threaten the non-platonic questions at gunpoint or whatever you need to do).

SEND A SHIP (PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC) FOR THE FOLLOWING... 

(CLOSED)

aw fuck yes it’s time for some GOOD FAMILIAL SHIT i have my gun ready and everything

who is more likely to hurt the other? PHYSICALLY Genji is way more likely to actually fucking lash out fkcnjskdjfn especially as a late teenager. BUT IN GENERAL IT’S FUCKING HANZO but like probably genuinely unintentionally- it’s not what he does so much as what he doesn’t do that might hurt Genji, because as we all know, young!Genji is an emotional fucking wreck who idolizes the shit out of Hanzo because Hanzo is the only one that gives a shit.

who is emotionally stronger? HANZO mostly because he’s been fucking conditioned to repress the shit out of his emotions and Do What He Must no matter what, whereas you’ll regularly find young Genji crying over chicken burgers in the kitchen at 3am.

who is physically stronger? HANZO AND GENJI FUCKING HATES IT.

who is more likely to break a bone? Genji on account of being an absolute fucking trainwreck and also regularly getting into bar brawls, parkouring while under the influence, and doing various other dangerous shit that might result in broken bones. 

who knows best what to say to upset the other? Honestly, probably Genji. I feel like Hanzo would have a pretty good idea too (just less likely to use it) because they know each other so well, but Genji is an extremely perceptive little SHIT and just. :////

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? HMMM. IT’S PROBABLY EQUAL WHEN THEY’RE REALLY YOUNG but as they get older it’s increasingly more inclined to be Genji, on account of Genji being a desperate-for-approval mess and Hanzo being a Do Not Show Weakness In Any Way Ever trainwreck.

who treats who’s wounds more often? THAT’S........ A GOOD QUESTION??? I GUESS GENJI ON ACCOUNT OF CONSTANTLY FUCKING GETTING HIMSELF INTO SHIT EVEN OUTSIDE OF YAKUZA BUSINESS?????

who is in constant need of comfort? It’s fucking Hanzo dude it’s just that he doesn’t ever let anyone know that, not even Genji. Fuck, not even himself honestly. So from an outsider’s perspective it would seem to be Genji because he’s so loud and messy about his emotions but in reality no-one has ever fucking needed comfort more than Hanzo needs comfort EVEN IF HE DOESN’T FUCKING THINK SO.

who gets more jealous? OH SHIT DUDE GOOD QUESTION. I have no fucking idea for Hanzo but I can see him being low-key envious of Genji seeming to be The Favourite Child + treated so differently from Hanzo, but of course immediately suppressing that shit because How Dare You Be So Ungrateful For What You’ve Been Given, This Is An Emotional Weakness, You Awful Awful Person, You Are A Disgrace To The Clan. Genji in the meantime is extremely jealous because Hanzo is everything he wants to be for a really fucking long time- accomplished, clearly a credit to the clan, always seems to be holding his shit together and has everything figured out etc. 

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? HAHA.... YOUNG GENJI....... I GUESS.......... FUCK.

who will propose? me, cocking gun: Genji is going to propose that they both go out on a bender and Hanzo is going to flatly decline before reminding him they have a meeting tomorrow.

who has the most difficult parents? THEY’RE BROTHERS.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? [COCKS GUN A LITTLE HARDER] Neither of them because Hanzo is touch-averse and Genji was rejected for affection by Sojiro too many times to ever try and hold a family member’s hand again. HOWEVER Genji has a tendency to hold onto Hanzo’s sleeve, especially when he’s nervous. (fun fact: this habit still appears in later life with other people he feels comforted by, he just might fidget with another item of their clothing instead).

who comes up for the other all the time? I STILL DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!!! but I feel like the answer is Hanzo!!!

who hogs the blankets? [FIRES A SINGLE WARNING SHOT] They have separate little blanket forts let them rest.

who gets more sad? THEY’RE BOTH SO FUCKING MISERABLE IT GENUINELY PAINS ME.

who is better at cheering the other up? HANZO.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes? GENJI.

who is more streetwise? UHHHH BOTH?? BUT?? I GUESS GENJI??

who is more wise? fucking neither they’re both idiots

who’s the shyest? HONESTLY I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE DEFINITION OF SHY ULTIMATELY IS but I feel like it’s Hanzo.

who boasts about the other more? There’s nothing to fucking boast about with Genji so (8 But honestly Genji only ‘boasts’ about Hanzo when he feels like Sojiro or someone else is being overly-critical and just has to be a little shit to try and defend him.

who sits on who’s lap? [UNAPOLOGETICALLY FIRES THREE BULLETS INTO THIS QUESTION] anyway when they were Very Small they would both try to crush each other to death and that’s the closest it gets

[steelheartthecoinshot]

roger/april for the relationship tag thingie? :D

alright here we go, FINALLY getting to this after, what...weeks?

Disagreements

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Depends what they’re fighting about, but they’ve both got pretty fiery spirits. So either.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? When they’re really into the fighting, both do out of pettiness. But April more often.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? They break up quite a few times over their relationship, so...both.

Who trashes the house? ehh neither. or both. depends. 

Do either of them get physical? No. But they come close to it.

How often do they argue/disagree? Quite frequently. Little things, big things, anything can start an argument that fizzles out just as quickly as it started.

Who is the first to apologize? They’re both extremely stubborn, but when it comes down to it, Roger. He can’t stand to be fighting anymore.

Sex

Who is on top? They’re both a little of each. So it switches.

Who is on bottom? ^^^

Who has the strangest desires? April. Definitely. You don’t even want to get into it with her.Any kinks? BDSM and maybe roleplay.

Who’s dominant in bed? See first question of this section.Is head ever in the equation? Yes If so, who is better at performing it? April. She’s had practice.

Ever had sex in public? yes

Who moans the most? Roger

Who leaves the most marks? definitely depends

Who screams the loudest? Roger, again

Who is the more experienced of the two? April. She likes to get around more.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? DEFINITELY ‘FUCK’.

Rough or soft? Rough. Always.

How long do they usually last? as long as they want to

Is protection used? sometimes. rarely.

Does it ever get boring? HAHAHAHAhahahaha no.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? In a lighthouse. (idk where that came from, it just occurred to me)

Family

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? Roger’s always wanted kids. He’s more sentimental and just a tad better with commitment than April. April doesn’t. They don’t talk about it a lot.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have? Roger: Two or three. April: One. That’s all she’s willing to deal with.

Who is the favorite parent? Roger. He’s a good parent, in both a parent’s world and a child’s world. (Going through these and coming back to this question, the fact that Roger is more often there for the children seems to be another reason he’s the favorite.)

Who is the authoritative parent? April. For herself, she doesn’t like rules, but she’s good with implementing them on other people.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Roger.

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Again, Roger.

Who turns up to extracurricular activities to support their children? Roger goes to everything. April comes if Roger can convince her.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews? Since these are more mandatory, April shows up willingly (albeit reluctantly).

Who changes the diapers? They both do. But again, Roger more willingly.

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Roger.

Who spends the most time with the children? Roger. Again.

Who packs their lunchboxes? Roger-April if she has to.

Who gives their children ‘the talk’? Both do-April is more direct and honest, (“and that’s how you fuck”) and Roger is more like a sex ed teacher about it.

Who cleans up after the kids? Roger, more often.

Who worries the most? Both do, though April conceals it. Roger worries out loud. And often. And about everything.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? BOTH.

Affection

Who likes to cuddle? Both.

Who is the little spoon? April.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? APRIL.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? BOTH

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Depends.

Who gives the most kisses? Roger, absolutely

What is their favorite non-sexual activity? Dancing.

Where is their favorite place to cuddle? They really only cuddle on Roger’s couch, so…

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? bOTHHow often do they get time to themselves? As much as they want. (even though “everybody can hear them,” as Mark complains to them)

Sleeping

Who snores? If both do, who snores the loudest? Both, and April.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately? Share

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? DEFINITELY cozy up. For...certain reasons.

Who talks in their sleep? Neither.

What do they wear to bed? Nightshirts? I guess? It’s really hard to even have an idea of what people wear to bed. People are ESPECIALLY confusing in this regard.

Are either of your muses insomniacs? Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? No, and no.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? They often get very tangled up.

Who wakes up with bed hair? Both, but April’s tends to be messier.

Who wakes up first? depends on a LOTWho prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Neither. They’re not the sentimental type of couple.

What is their favorite sleeping position? See question about what they wear to bed.

Who hogs the sheets? ROGER.

Do they set an alarm each night? Hell no.

Can a television be found in their bedroom? Nope.

Who has nightmares? Roger, more often.

Who has ridiculous dreams? Also Roger. For some strange reason.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Both do. It’s complicated.

Who makes the bed? Hahahahha nope.

What time is bedtime? Any routines/rituals before bed? Nope and nope.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? April. Always.

Work

Who is the busiest? Roger.

Who rakes in the highest income? Roger.

Are any of your muses unemployed? April has a bit of trouble keeping a job.

Who takes the most sick days? They’re both too stubborn to ever do so.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work? April.

Who sucks up to their boss? Neither.

What are their jobs? April’s changes, Roger is with his band.

Who stresses the most? Roger, though he hides it.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Roger loves it, April does not like working.

Are your muses financially stable? No.

Home

Who does the washing? both

Who takes out the trash? Roger

Who does the ironing? ironing? what’s that?

Who does the cooking? depends

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? both

Who is messier? they’re both fairly messy

Who leaves the toilet roll empty? April

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? both. absolutely.

Who forgets to flush the toilet? roger

Who is the prankster around the house? aPRIL

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? don’t own a car, don’t have this problem

Who mows the lawn? what lawn? it’s new york city

Who answers the telephone? nEITHER

Who does the vacuuming? nopeWho does the groceries? roger

Who takes the longest to shower? Probably roger

Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Roger. See above.

Miscellaneous

Is money a problem? Always

How many cars do they own? Zero (0)

Do they own their home or do they rent? Rent.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? New York City...

Do they live in the city or in the country? City

Do they enjoy their surroundings? YesWhat’s their song? Ah jesus uhhhh I have no idea.

What do they do when they’re away from each other? ...stuff.

Where did they first meet? At a concert venue

Who spends the most money when out shopping? Depends. On a LOT.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets? BOTH

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? April. She would film it.

Any mental issues? Probably? But idk what

Who’s terrified of bugs? Roger

Who kills the spiders around the house? April

Their favorite place? Everywhere that they’re together

Who pays the bills? isn’t this the plot of the musical

Do they have any fears for their future? They don’t really think about the future.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Roger. Sentimental.Who uses up all of the hot water? ROGER. See shower question.

Who’s the tallest? Roger

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop in the shower with the other? April-see shower question above

Who wanders around in their underwear? Roger. All the time.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? April. She loves to sing loudly and purposely offkey.

What do they tease each other about? anything and everything

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? April @ Roger. But again, in a more teasing way.

Do they have mutual friends? Mark, Maureen, & co.

Who crushed first? Roger. Hard.

Any alcohol or substance related problems? Smack, obviously (heroin)

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Roger.

Who swears the most? BOTH. ALWAYS.

[flamingostalker]

get to know me tag

thank u @shinyzephyr for tagging me <33

Age: 20 :^( 

Birthplace: US

Current Time: 7:42 AM

Drink You Last Had: woter I'm thorsty 

Easiest Person to Talk to: smith because what do u ever be sayin

Favourite Song: umm i guess rn it’s tigerlily by la roux

Grossest Memory: my dad walked into the bathroom while i was naked and i had 3 bodily wastes coming out at once because he was concerned and it was like 3am :^\ it was nice of him but i can't be seen in my natural habitat 

Hogwarts House: slytherin

In Love: yo mama

Jealous of People: why not 

Killed Someone: with kindness

Love at First Sight or Should I Walk by you Again: walk by again u know damn well i wasn't paying attention

Middle Name: marie

Number of Siblings: 1 i got my little brother

One Wish: die quickly leave a pretty corpse

Person you Called Last: mi madre

Question you are Always Asked: you left the house looking like that?

Reasons to Smile: healing, close circle of friends, my approaching birthday which will allow me to purchase beverages for them

Song you Sang Last: brobably prisoners by regina spektor 

Time you Woke Up: 7am because i had a scary dream :^(

Underwear Color: blue

Worst Habit: absolutely no consistency in eating habits

X-Rays: uhhhh I've had em on my teeth and my lungs because i had pneumonia twice like some kinda idiot

Your Favourite Food: not to be White Trash but hamsteak, peas, and mashed potatoes with white gravy is like The Ultimate comfort food

Zodiac Sign: cancer

i’ll tag @youngpacca  @killuo and @thecolorofboom

[funkinren]

What lies Behind

What Lies Behind

“doon Doon”

Was the sound of the loud thud that had awoken me.

It was 3am I had been sleeping having vivid and sweet dreams, but the loud bang had interrupted me and woke me in a panic. As I lay there calming down questioning ,” what’s that noise”? Does anybody else hear it? I wait a couple of moments and see if the sound starts again.... Nothing. So I hop out of bed, open my room door and slow creep out. I make a sharp right staring at my front door. Still nothing. I walk to my kitchen, thinking,

”oh it must’ve been my imagination.”

I start to open my fridge looking for a bottle of ice cold water searching nervously, still startled, still wondering if anybody besides me heard such loud thumps on our door. I wonder if my mom and dad heard it, they always sleep so lightly.

“I guess it really was nothin” I say. As I drink the water to calm me.

The sun had peaked through my blinds waking me, in a hurry, I jump out of bed and fling open my door violently.

My dad’s on the kitchen making breakfast.

I ask him,” Fatman? Did you hear loud thumps this morning around 3 at our door?”

He turns to me while he finishes scrambling the eggs and answers,

“Nah, Thin Man, you’ve must’ve been dreamin.”

I smile discouragingly.

My mom creeps into the kitchen from the backyard and tells me,”

You know 2am- 3am is known as the bewitching hours. Demons, Spirits, and all evil Entities come out during those hours”

My heart skips a beat violently.

My mom looks at me and ask,” are you seeing ghost again? Like you were claiming to when you were little?”

“ I didn’t see anything, but I heard a loud thud and thumps last night” I said in a disheveled matter.

“Mmm, not this ghost stuff again” she whispered unhappily under her breath.

......................................

Few weeks passed by and no thumps or Thuds on my front door it had been peacefully quiet.

...........................................

-Krsh Krsh-

The sound the thunder had made, silver branches struck the skies violently, while the rain ran on the roof.

*Din dun dun*

The rain made the sound repeatedly on my roof.

I tossed and turned ruffling my sheets,

Shuffling about in my covers. I couldn’t sleep.

*Swoosh*

*the sound of water being turned off*

*Twip......... Twip....*

Was the next sound I heard.

“Great, the sound of all this water makes me wanna per so badly, but I don’t wanna get out of bed”

I thought to myself irritated.

I roll out of bed, jumping to my feet. Opening my door look to my right and stare at the door.

“Whew, nothing tonight?”

I said questioningly yet calmly to myself.

I make a quick left and still down my hall to the bathroom. The lights are always on in the bathroom due to my sibilings being afraid of the dark.

I nudge the door open ever so quietly as I enter the bathroom.

*Uhhhh-Yeoweee*

I hear a blood curdling screech that makes me mjump side ways.

*bzzt*

The bathroom lights go out.

Frightened I run out the bathroom.

I look at the door,

*thud -Thud-Thud*

Frozen. Can’t move.

The thuds get louder.

The door from the hallways is so close but yet so far, I start to move, slowly, one foot after the other.

Left, right, left, right, stop.

“ why am I walking towards the door? Who do I think i am”?

Heart beating faster and faster, breath gets heavier and heavier.

I’m just a few feet away as I unlock the door with my fingers trembling with bad decisions, my hand latches on to the door knob shaking with regret, as I turn the knob to open the door-

“what are you doing, it’s 3 am, what are you doing up? You have school in a couple hours”

My brother says to me in a quizzical tone as he closes the garage door.

[the-stemetery714]

All the questions 😉

I usually ignore this when people request it but it’s 1:30 AM and I’m bored. It’s your lucky day.

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?I don’t know who that was but I’ll assume it was a friend, so yeah.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?Absolutely not.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?Probably when I was very close to buying a house a few weeks ago.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?Please. I’m southern lol.

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?I’m not dating or talking to anyone.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?Of course.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?Boxers and a flannel.

8. How often do you listen to music?If I’m alone, I’m basically always listening to music.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?I never wear sweats.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?Lmao damn these questions old.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?Social.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?Lmao like a lot. That used to be a joke amongst my friends. My first 3 girlfriends names started with A.

13. What about ‘R’?Yeah.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?Nope.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?Yeah, I really do, actually.

16. Are you going out of town soon?Not that I can think of. Unless UGA goes to the National Championship. Then I’m going to try to sell me soul for tickets with Jade. 😂

17. When was the last time you cried?Yesterday.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?Jesus Christ, I’m 27.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?No. I like my eyes.

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?Um no.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.Day’s over with, homie. But I slept hella late because I was up so late the night before and I hate that.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?These questions were made for teenagers.

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?Nope.

24. What are you sitting on right now?I’m laying in bed.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?Of course.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Oh yeah lol

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?Probably Audra.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?No.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Like Goodwill or some shit lol. Best place to get flannels tbh

30. Does anyone hate you?Well if they do, they’re probably stupid.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?Sighs. I’m 27.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?Not really.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?Negative cap’n.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?I don’t think I would. But if I was going to, probably 2016 or 2013.

35. Did you have a dream last night?Not that I remember.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?I told my friend that when I left her house a couple hours ago.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?I really hope so but I’m not setting a time limit on that.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?I go back and forth on that every day.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Perhaps.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?Not especially. It was fine.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?Hell no lol.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?Probably.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Of course.

44. What’s the best part about school?Oh my god.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?🙄

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?🙄🙄🙄🙄

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?Definitely.

48. Were you single over the last summer?Oh yeah.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?Fuck no. Completely different in almost every way.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?Nothing.

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?I don’t hate anyone.

52. Are you nice to everyone?No lol.

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Sure.

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Lmao. Checkmate.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?Probably not but I try to on the daily lol.

56. Do you think you like someone?Eh.

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?Yeeepp lol. What awkward 2017 memories.

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?Either.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?Like all of them.

60. Do you hate anyone?Nope.

61. How’s your heart?Doing it’s thang.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?Yeah.

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?As a child, yes lol.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?I can’t imagine anyone is.

65. Are your toenails painted pink?Fuck no.

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?Nah. They’re not usually mistakes regardless of the outcome.

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?God, this is dumb.

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?No, but they have ripped in public.

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?Jessy.

70. How do you look right now?Zooted.

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?Many good friends.

72. Can you commit to one person?Sure.

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?Nope.

74. Have you ever felt replaced?Of course.

75. Did you wake up cranky?Nah. I was off work today.

76. Are you a jealous person?I’m probably one of the least jealous people you’ll ever meet, for real.

77. Are relationships ever worth it?They could be.

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?Past tense.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?Not at this exact moment, no.

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?Go to hell AKA Walmart.

81. Last person you cried in front of?Jade lol. Horrible story.

82. Is there someone you will never forget?Many.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?Yeah.

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?Again, I’m cool with being alone right now.

85. Are you over your past?Parts of it.

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?Like. As a teenager.

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?Hasn’t this already been asked?

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?No. She’s been forgiven like 200 million times but there will not be a 201 millionth time.

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?Uhhhh. Probably. But that would be fucking weird because we barely know each other lol. However, she does know where I live so in theory, I guess that could happen.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yeah. For like 4 years lol.

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?Doubtful.

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?My dad.

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?Yes, actually.

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?Nope. Have been single for over a year.

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?I was heartbroken and miserable in March lol. The person I was seeing was…not really someone I liked…🤷‍♀️ complicated.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?Yep.

97. Who do you have texts from?Bruh I have every text that’s ever been sent in this phone (from a year ago until now) lol

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?Yeah, no surprise there lol.

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yes.

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?Just me and my lonesome.

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?Fuck the fuck off.

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?Yep.

[cornflowerbluewrites]

Lol, I meant to do this last night but then I crashed super hard! So today it is! Thanks for the tag @lunalucrea

Names: Alice! I go by Aliceinbluue on discord and Cornflower_Blue on AO3!

Fandoms: I mostly write for BNHA and theoretically TAZ right now but I exist on the outskirts of several other fandoms, lol.

Where You Post: AO3! I used to have FFN and Wattpad accounts several years ago but those are long gone and I don;t see myself ever going back to them! AO3 is the spot for me!

Most Popular Oneshot (by kudos): Passing Grade! My first ever Fic Telephone fic! We started with the line "Stop lying to me" I think and I cannot recommend that people check out my cowriters enough!!! They're all brilliant!!!

Most Popular Multichapter (by kudos): Of Twisted Arm and Bended Knee! Which should surprise no one to be honest, that fic is a monster and I have a feeling it's only going to get bigger the more Kestrel and I get into our plot!

Favorite Story You’ve Written: You want me to choose just one of my fics??? Uhhhh, maybe A Phoenix Fisrt Must Burn. It was one of the first fics I ever wrote for BNHA and it's still one of my favorite concepts I've ever thought up! It might not be perfectly written, and there are things I think I would go back in and change, but I'm still really happy with it and how it turned out!!!

Fic You Were Nervous To Post: Steal My Humanity 100%. To this day it's still my shortest fic and the one I was prepared for the most backlash for.

How Do You Choose Your Titles?: I don't have just one way. Sometimes I'll think of it while writing, sometimes I know the title before I begin writing, other times I'll choose it based on what I've written, and then sometimes it's 3AM and I just want to title the fic so I can go to bed and I'm begging for help from anyone who wants to give it to me, lol.

Do You Outline?: Occasionally. I have an outline for TABK, but that's mostly cause it's a collab and we kinda needed an outline otherwise that fic would be even wilder. And Bad Day got the moniker Worm Fic based on my very loose outline for the fic in which I shared the line 'Fourth: Worms'. But most of the time I'll start with an idea and fly by the seat of my pants.

Complete: Of my total 64 fics written, 56 are completed, most of them oneshots, lol.

In Progress: So many. I have so many fics in process. I am practically drowning in WIPs, someone help me, lol!

Coming Soon: The next TABK chapter, lol. After that, we'll see which way the muse pulls me!!!

Not Started: Again, so many. I have so many fics that live rent free in my head at all times and if I could just get enough time, I would write out. I hope I can get to them all some day, but we'll see!!!

Upcoming work you’re excited about: I'm hoping to finish out my 2020 Wuhumptober series because I have some fics planned for that which I am very excited about! Just wait until day 19!!!

I'm gonna try and tag people I havn't seen tagged yet so @queenangst @mauds-lemon-pie and anyone else who sees this and wants to answer questions!!! Have fun!!!

fanfic writer question game!!! tagged by @catlady5001!! thanks for that this looks super cool!! (and I love talking about myself dhksdh)

Names: griffin!!! actually I’m granny-griffin on like every platform I use (but sometimes it’s an underscore instead of a dash)

Fandoms: bnha is my current brainrot but I’ve written for httyd books, yona of the dawn and mbhpodcast. honestly I’m surprised I haven’t done a legend of zelda fic yet

Where You Post: ao3!!

Most Popular Oneshot (by kudos): As Water Wears Away Stones — it’s a bittersweet dadmight future fic which I was honestly feeling pretty meh about before I posted but it seems to have resonated with basically everyone

Most Popular Multichapter (by kudos): A Word Was Brought To Me — dreamscape dekusquad OFA reveal! I wrote it while stuck in isolation in my room right before Christmas. The daydream it came from was pretty epic but the fic is very crack

Favorite Story I’ve Written: easily Never Fade — it’s my bnha fantasy au!! Also written while in isolation, but this time right after christmas. I don’t think I’ve ever churned out 7k in a week before, the idea kind of possesed me and I didn’t have anything else to do

Fic You Were Nervous To Post: Words — I always intended to do an Ibara-centric fic at some point. I kinda felt like it was my duty as a Christian bnha fanfic writer since I would be able to draw from my own experience to write her character hdskhd but yeah I was a little nervous that people would not want to hear a Christian perspective and that they would get mad at me but actually most people just ignored it so we’re good

How Do You Choose Your Titles: if I can’t think of something suitably poetic that contains the crux of the fic then I just go for a line of poetry—ranging from english bnha op cover lyrics to the Actual Bible

Do You Outline? mentally, yes

Complete: I have a bunch of complete fics because I write a lot of oneshots

In Progress: I don’t abandon fics I just take my time. Yes, even Chasing the Sun. I’m getting there hdkshd

Coming Soon: A Logical Bruise ch 3

Not Started: uh firefletch says I have to write the paperwork shenanigans daydream I wrote in that ask earlier so probably that

Upcoming Work You’re Most Excited About: idk I lost an hour to daydreaming about a never fade sequel the other day so maybe that? we’ll see if I have time this christmas

tagging @quizzicalcrow @withstarryeyes @readerofthewilderwest @u-are-a-conspiracy-theorist @pastelfeatheredmask @pikachuketchup1207 and anybody else who wants to!

[wanderingwonderingwanderlust]

Roommate From Hijab Hell

I’m awakened from a deep sleep, exhausted and butt naked—a necessary protective measure against the heat in my un-airconditioned, poorly circulated room at the hotel I work at in Amman. One series of knocks wakes me up but I hesitate to get out of bed though I’m now awake yet disoriented. I reach for my phone to check the time, waiting for another knock to be sure it’s a knock at my door which woke me. “It’s 2:45… am or pm?” A good question considering I’ve certainly proven capable of sleeping twelve hours straight. “Did I miss work?” I think to myself through squinted eyes.

Another loud knock at the door, “Alicia?” It’s the voice of the receptionist. Okay Alicia, you’re naked. It’s the middle of the night. Do something. Brain, please function.

I wrap myself up in the thin, cheap white sheet untucked from my bed. I crack open the door and peak my red, dry eyes in the opening to see the receptionist standing with an older woman in black abaya and hijab. He asks, “Can she stay with you?” I’m thinking, yeahhhhh… as if I have a choice? It’s a hotel and if she pays, she stays. The decision isn’t mine to make.

I’ve been spoiled. Though I have currently been living in a four person female dorm room for a month, the only other person I’ve shared it with, besides the two nights a German traveler was here, was with was a fellow worker and good friend—Adelaide. But Adelaide has been gone for a week and I’ve become comfortably accustom to having my own private room, evidenced by the fact that I can comfortably sleep naked without the fear of bombardment.

I’m rather disheveled and my mind isn’t functioning even close to optimally because of being abruptly woken up compiled by the lack of sleep from the past few nights. I hear myself asking out loud what time it is, though I already know and I answer the receptionist, “Yeah, I guess. Give me five minutes.” My clothes are strewn about on the two empty beds so I shut the door and cleanup a little. I return and in comes this wide awake woman with no luggage, only a purse. Before I close the door, the receptionist warns me, “Be careful. She’s acting strange. She’s an odd woman so look out.” I ask why he would let her in my room at this time if she’s so odd and he explains, “She cried. She only had 5 dinar, she’s old and she refused to leave the lobby. Just wake her up when you get up for work.”

WHAT?! What do you mean be careful? How am I supposed to sleep with a warning like this? Is she going to stab me? Steal my stuff? Go on a rampage? Cut off my hair? Poison my toothbrush? And what did she do to make him call her strange? Listening to your own paranoid mind churn is a funny thing. My room has been forcefully invaded by a stranger who has come with a warning label and my body is now pumping with adrenaline; there will be no sleep for me.

The woman who doesn’t speak English immediately tries to become my friend and I watch her perform for me, unimpressed. I know right away that she’s overcompensating and attempting to build trust for something but I’m nice at first. She manically reenacts the receptionist knocking and her entering; I think she’s implying that he wanted to enter without knocking but she “protected” me. She’s rather animated—leaving the room and using her full voice and body to show me the story in an attempt to form some womanly bond. She’s smiley and I’m so uneasy at how to handle all of this. At this point it’s 3am. Woman! Don’t you want to sleep? She prowls the room and opens a random drawer (red flag) and walks over to my makeup to touch it. She has no sense of personal space and apparently no awareness of the time or the disruption she’s caused me. She comes back and sits on the bed next to me; it’s only a foot away. She just sits on the edge and stares at me, smiling. Without hijab she looks even older, she’s badly balding and wrinkly in the unflattering florescent light. She’s already pissing me off but my face is a pro at hiding my real emotions.

She eventually takes a shower in the room’s bathroom. A long, long shower. I feel as if she’s banking on me falling asleep but I cannot because she makes me so uncomfortable and I’m in this heightened fight or flight state. I decide to take my laptop and tablet to the receptionist desk for safety. I glare at the receptionist for letting her in my room, telling him she’s still not asleep. When I return she’s still showering and eventually she comes out; the light is still on and it seems clear she’s either a completely unabashedly rude woman or she’s up to no good. I like to keep the faith and see the best in people so I imagine her to be a beggar who saved up enough for a hot shower and a bed for a night. Ha.

But there she is, clean and safe and she still will not sleep. I’m curled up in the fetal position on my bed; I’ve already hidden my small purse behind the curtains. She sits on the bed next to me again– watching me. I do not trust this woman. She makes a “hmph” noise occasionally as if she’s perfectly content to be awake all night. And she keeps sniffing her underwear to buy herself time and still will not turn the lights off though I motion at them over and over. Then she tries to be all cute and throws away an empty water bottle of mine like she’s cleaning. She looks at me as if she wants me to applaud her action.

Randomly she points to herself and says “old” and points to me and says “young”. I only see this as a way to garner sympathy for a future act of injustice she will commit. I’m no fool but my patience certainly lasts too long at times to my own detriment in hindsight. When I demand she sleeps by pointing at the lights and the time on my phone, she goes to the bathroom again. When she returns she starts rambling on in Arabic in her see-through pink tie-dyed short dress about something and I get up to turn off the lights myself, ignoring her. I can no longer stand to see her stupid grin. I tried to be nice. Finally she lays down and I pretend to sleep—with one eye open of course. From the way she lays there on her back and doesn’t get under the covers but instead wraps herself shabbily in a nearby blanket, I know that her intent is not to sleep. But I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Ha.

My intuition is proven right once again—this happens a lot when traveling—and after five minutes she sits up in bed speaking about something and goes to turn the light on. I’m really in awe. She begins to point to the television repetitively. I hand her the remote; she repulses me but I’m telling myself to continue being patient, she’s old and maybe she’s picky about how she likes to sleep. Ha. I turn it on; it’s the Mecca channel– my favorite– it’s hypnotic and the Quran is beautiful when being sung in Arabic. She wants the “Hindi” channel and tries for a few minutes to find it. At this point almost an hour has passed and I’m so done with her.

I pickup my phone and point over and over to the time. I say, “Halas! Enough! Look at the time!”, I motion in the universal language of charades for her to sleep. My increasing frustration transmits. And I recognize that no one shows up to a hotel crying for a room at 3am to repetitively avoid sleeping. She won’t turn off the lights though I keep asking and at that point I storm out angrily; I’m going to have the receptionist kick her out. She rushes to the bathroom and slams the door. I go to the receptionist and he agrees and heads to my room; I’m so angry that I take the elevator to the rooftop to make tea. I cannot be around her and must remove myself from the situation. I need peace and a view for my boiling blood; though I’d be more humored if it weren’t 4am and I didn’t have to work in two hours.

The phone in the kitchen rings. The receptionist wants me to come downstairs to check her bag to see if she’s stolen anything. Uhhhh do I have to? I usually go such lengths to avoid conflict and this one is being presented to me on a platter I must take. I go to my room first and see that she didn’t find my small purse but only my big, empty one with my passport. I see my shoes and other bags are all in different places. She was ransacking my stuff and apparently wouldn’t let the receptionist enter right away blaming her “modesty”. I exit the elevator and there she is, back in hijab leaning on the lobby desk and the receptionist is going through her purse. She has multiple passports and he reads some of the many notes she has in her bag. For some reason she utters the words “American boys”. She’s still trying to be charming towards me I think. She then points to her lips, drowned in red, and the receptionist tells me that she says the only thing she took and used was my lipstick. Ew.

But her irritation quickly spills over at the violation of him going through her stuff and she randomly explodes with an irrational, intense anger all aimed at me. This woman is seething and it’s in this anger and hatred that I see how absolutely insane she is. She’s batshit crazy. She’s screaming insults at me back and forth between Arabic and Hebrew and English and I feel as if she’s casting a curse on me from the way she’s using her hands. The witch. I start laughing at her when she curses in English because she’s getting in my face screaming “duck” and “donkey” over and over. She’s fully committed to naming these farm animals as if she’s a child who just learned “Old McDonald Had a Farm” for the first time. Apparently, calling people animal names is very offensive in Arabic. The offensive nature was definitely lost on me because I impulsively start to “quack” at her and make the animal noises while giggling as she’s screaming. I whip out my phone to record a snapchat for the beautiful memory. Simply for posterity. She’s furious at this point.

Bitch. Pig. I found out she was saying these things when my friends laugh hysterically while translating the mini-video for me later. I think the fact I was unaffected began to piss her off more. She reaches down to her foot and removes her shoe and raises it to strike me. Okay granny. I don’t want to have to whip out these ballet inspired self-defense moves on a woman almost thrice my age, but I will if I have to. I flip 180 and suddenly hear myself calling her a myriad of nasty words which is so unlike me. I’ve absorbed her anger; I felt threatened. She is in my face with her hand raised and she’s screaming, surely waking up the guests. I hear the word “haram” and she lunges over and grabs my butt. A big beautiful handful, enough to leave a red mark that I discover later—something I would love under different circumstances. She then tries to pull down my ankle length skirt. I’m grateful she’s unsuccessful because not wearing underwear is kind of my thing when traveling. The less dirty laundry, the better. At this point the receptionist has called the police (it’s Jordan, they never come) and has gotten out the big black cane from behind the desk to threaten her with like she’s some stray animal who wandered inside and needs to return to the streets. He suggests I leave and I do, gladly. I head back up to the sixth floor and still hear her nasty voice echoing up the hotel walls. I thought how unsurprised I’d be if she hopped on a broomstick hidden under her abaya and flew to the sixth floor to continue harassing me through that thin-lipped mouth which is wearing my red lipstick. Gosh, it’s 4am and I already need a drink. A shot. Actually, make it three. Back to back, no chaser.

I’m not sure how or why these kinds of situations find me, but they do. Even when I’m peacefully asleep and locked in a room. They always find me.